The Heart of the Matter

When one of my children was very young, I won't say which to protect the guilty, he had a habit of trying to lie to me.  The problem was, he wasn't very good at it.  You could always tell when he was lying.  I would talk to him about being honest and ruining my trust, but the truth was, I didn't worry much because he simply never could get away with it.  So for several years he quit lying.  If anyone told me he did something and he denied it, I trusted him because I had no reason not to.

Then came the day that I discovered he had lied about something and I had trusted him.  My trust was shattered.  I told him I couldn't trust him and had to verify everything he told me.  After a while it became apparent that he was lying, and sneaking, much more than I thought.  Every time I gave him a chance to regain my trust, he would ruin it by lying again.

I have really be struggling with this with him because I know that trustworthiness is a part of your integrity.  Integrity isn't what you do, it is who you are.  When you give people reason to doubt your word once or twice, they begin to question every thing you ever told them.

Have you ever had a friend who told you things about their past, then through the course of events in life, you discover that they are less then truthful or perhaps tend to shade events to protect themselves from looking bad?  It makes you begin to look at and question the things they have already told you.

Let's look at a hypothetical, silly example.  Let's pretend you have a friend named Sally.  You get a new haircut and Sally says it's lovely.  You go shopping with Sally and she tells you that the outfit you are trying on looks great on you.  One day you overhear Sally telling a mutual friend how nice her rather gaudy and outlandish outfit looks.  Slightly surprised, you ask her about it.  Sally's response is that she just likes to make people feel good so even though she thinks it looks rather bad, she tells her it looks great to make her feel better.

Suddenly. you wonder about all those clothes she helped you choose.  Every time you dress in that outfit, you worry that it really looks awful.  Each and every thing she has told you becomes suspect.  Does my new hair color really look natural?  Does this shirt really look good with those pants?  Does that skirt really make me look thinner?  You find your desire to be with Sally has suddenly diminished.  You no longer trust her and wonder what else she might me misleading you about.

Every time you sell out a small piece of yourself for gain, whether it be monetarily, for chocolate, for the admiration of a friend or whatever, you destroy a piece of your integrity.  It becomes easier and easier to do until the day comes when you have no integrity at all.  Once you begin crossing that line, you begin a long slippery ride without an emergency stop button.

Look into your heart and life today.  Begin to pluck away those little areas in which you are untrustworthy or dishonest.  Realize that there may well come a day when your heart will become known to the world and you really want that heart to be shown to be filled with integrity, not deceit and dishonor.

Cheaper Than Dirt

This is an interactive blog post.  Reading this is a non-binding agreement to submit your own tip. 

I am cheap.  Some people would like to call me thrifty, but I'm really just cheap.  I'm also lazy.  Sometimes it's hard to decide if I am more cheap or more lazy.  This blog post is an attempt to get you, my dear readers, to interact with one another and me and give us your frugal, thrifty or even plain cheap tricks to save money.  However, I request that you give easy suggestions, as I am too lazy to work very hard. 

Here is my tip:  Homemade Laundry Soap
I found this recipe and love it.  It is easy and super cheap.  It costs about $2 for 10 gallons.  There is an initial outlay of a little more money as I will explain after the recipe, but it still is minimal cost.

4  Cups - hot tap water
1  Fels-Naptha soap bar
1 Cup - Washing Soda
½ Cup Borax
- Grate bar of soap and add to saucepan with water. Stir continually over medium-low heat until soap dissolves and is melted.
-Fill a 5 gallon bucket half full of hot tap water. Add melted soap, washing soda and Borax. Stir well until all powder is dissolved. Fill bucket to top with more hot water. Stir, cover and let sit overnight to thicken.
-Stir and fill a used, clean, laundry soap dispenser half full with soap and then fill rest of way with water. Shake before each use. (will gel)
-Optional: You can add 10-15 drops of essential oil per 2 gallons. Add once soap has cooled. Ideas: lavender, rosemary, tea tree oil.
-Yield: Liquid soap recipe makes 10 gallons.
-Top Load Machine- 5/8 Cup per load (Approx. 180 loads)
-Front Load Machines- ¼ Cup per load (Approx. 640 loads
 

Baking Soda will not work, nor will Arm & Hammer Detergent - It must be sodium carbonate.

 

We have had good luck finding washing soda and Fels-Naptha at Kroger and Rural King. 

We got a FREE 5 gallon bucket from the Wal Mart bakery.  The first one would not give us any, but another one gave us several, so ask at different locations.  Bakeries get their frosting in 5 gallon buckets.  I bought a special ladle that stores in my bucket with my soap.  

The Borax and Washing Soda will cost you a few dollars each for initial outlay, but you will get many, many sets of this recipe out of one box of each.  I have started using Borax and Washing soda for lots of things since I have it around now.  

I put the undiluted stuff in a spray bottle to use as a pretreat for stains.  It works quite well.  I have an HE washer and I use it regularly.  I was tired of spending so much money for those little bottles of laundry soap. 

 

Now, it's your turn.  Comment below and share your favorite cheap tip with us!

Mommy Wars

A wise friend has told me "I don't get involved in Mommy wars."  This is a sentiment I have been trying to follow for many years, yet it's easier said than done.  Largely because it isn't just about your children.  For some reason, at least in my world (the one in my head), there is an ongoing "mine is better than yours" battle.

I cannot remember anyone with whom I currently socialize ever making comparisons between their child and mine or their husband and mine or their church and mine with the intention of making me feel bad.  So why do I sometimes?

I am declaring that life is too short to compare yourself, your spouse, your child, your home, your job or your church to another.  No one and no situation is perfect.  I do not need to constantly try to convince myself that my situation is as good as Jane Doe's.  I am refusing to participate in this battle (even though it is just in my head) anymore.

I want those reading this to know, I endeavor to actually mean what I say and will presume you do as well.  I will refuse to listen to the voice that says "Maybe they didn't mean that" or "What did they mean by that?"  

We are called to live together and should be attempting to build one another rather than destroy one another.  Since that is my desire, I am going to presume that it is the desire of those around me.  I am wholeheartedly glad for my friends with great kids, husbands, jobs, homes, churches and know that I am content in my life just as it is.