Dreams

Have you ever had a dream?  Not the Running-Down-The Hallway-Chasing-The-Rabbit-Making That-Crazy-Noise-Only-To-Wake-Up-And-Realize-It-Is-The-Alarm dream.  Those those are fun, too. 

I mean the "When I grow up I wanna be a rock star" dreams.  Have you ever wondered where your dreams come from?  Did God give you the dream and the opportunity to pursue it?  Did you get the dream from somewhere else and God gave you the chance to pursue it?  Do all of our dreams, hopes and ambitions come from God?  Or are they from our "humanity" and He allows us to pursue them?  Is there a mix of both?

So, I wonder, Where Do Our (My) Dreams Come From? 

When I was a little girl, I wanted to be one of 3 things 1) Country Music singer (tone deaf, not happening here) 2) Police officer (kind of a coward though) and 3) a teacher.  I pretty well settled on teacher in the 1st grade and never left.  I loved my first grade teacher.  She was wonderful.  I planned it all out - I was going to be a first grade teacher.  Until I student taught in first grade.  Then I decided to be a second grade teacher. 

Well, long story short, I decided after 5 years of teaching remedial reading, that I wanted to be a stay at home mom for 5 years, until baby number 3 (still not yet a twinkle in momma's eye) was in Kindergarten. 

Then I realized I wanted to homeschool my (at the time 4) kids.  Well, at six kids now and another 17 years of homeschooling ahead of me, I know without a doubt, that the dream, as it existed in my head for literally 20+ years will never be.

Now, I don't say that because I'm unhappy.  Quite the opposite.  I love my life, my kids, my choice to homeschool.  I have never regretted, even once, my decision.  I've never doubted it was God's plan and desire.  I'm not saying that I don't mourn a little every August.  But that time is always mixed with the excitement of our new school year starting.  I'm so blessed to experience what so few momma's (relatively speaking) get to experience.  If you aren't a homeschooler, you won't quite understand.  If you are, you totally understand.  My kids with me nearly every moment is priceless (except it the bathroom). 

But I do wonder, did God give me the original dream so that I could someday be fulfilled in this plan I could never have understood 30 years ago, this life of a homeschooling momma that was so foreign to me then?  Could God have wanted me to strive for that dream so as to make this the result?  Or was the original dream just something out of my humanity, something I came up with that amounted to nothing because it wasn't His plan? 

I don't know.  It seems strange to place a dream in a small child's heart, knowing that it will never come to pass.  Yet, I don't know that it wasn't a big part of getting me to this stage in my life.  I do know that God has a plan.  His plan is to bring me to His expected end, fulfill His hopes in my life.  If I entrust that to Him, what difference does the rest of it make?

What dreams have you found God using differently than you imagined He would?

Treasure Hunting

My family is returning from a week long vacation in beautiful Florida!  In this modern era of technology, I am blogging as my husband drives through the beautiful Tennessee landscapes.
We spent the whole wonderful week relaxing, playing, and spending time together. One of our favorite activities was "treasure hunting".  Each time we went to the beach, we looked for whatever treasures we could find.  We found all the best and prettiest shells and shell pieces, living creatures (which we returned home) and sand dollars.  Each new item found, no matter how like the previous ones, evoked squeals and peals of delight and joy.
We visited the ocean under different circumstances, when the wave were calm, when the waves where crashing hard and everything in between.  The kids laughed and played as they were being swamped by waves.  My 6 year old, who has always been very timid in water (my only one really), was having a ball being doused by wave after wave. She would come up and grin and giggle only to be plowed over again by the next round.  Even the baby would giggle and smile at the waves rushing up on his feet.

In the midst of a glorious week, staring out my window at waves and sandy beaches, reading on a balcony while listening to waves and wind, I found my own treasures.  I left for vacation a veritable mental and emotional mess.  My brain was cluttered with the chaos and stress that being a homeschooling momma with 6 kids and a volunteer Children’s Ministry leader less than 2 months before a huge VBS brings.  I couldn’t find up, couldn’t think through one task, felt like I was drowning in the piles in my head created by the clutter of thought and responsibility.  Then something amazing happened. 
I took a week off.  Off of everything (two weeks from church – hee hee).  And the world still spins.  Church still goes on.  My kids are no less smart, my house (I presume) still stands, my garden is growing (again, I presume), my dog is alive, my kids are clean, fed and happy and my husband has smiled and relaxed more than I have seen in a while.  So, it turns out that the world can go on without my micromanaging. 
I was so proud of me.  I dodged and punted church and VBS questions, delaying ones that could wait, passing the buck on ones that couldn’t to my co-brain and co-Children’s Ministry Director.  I didn’t even use my computer until today, the last day as we are driving home.  I did use my fancy phone to email and facebook, but recreationally only!  I didn’t even take my phone to the ocean! 
In all of this week, I found my treasure.  The treasure I have been needing for so long.  Simplicity, focus, a reminder of the only truly important thing(s) in my life.  Joy. 
I so often and so easily lose my focus and misplace my joy.  We, as Christians, are called to live a life of joy.  Joy is separate from happiness.  Joy is independent of circumstances; it is based on the salvation gift of our Lord.  But sometimes in our, or at least my overrun life I lose my focus and forget to carry my Joy with me.
I found my treasure.  I found my joy.

I'm linking this post to A Holy Experience.  Please check out this and other posts here.

A Prepper's Pantry

When I was a child, my father (single parent to five kids) kept an incredibly well stocked pantry.  It wasn't a "plan for a big emergency" pantry.  It was the way people used to manage groceries.  Keep more on hand than you need in case.  In case of what didn't really matter.  It wasn't all about gloom and doom.  It was comforting.  It was normal.  You always knew you had food, and what you had.  As a kid, I always knew we didn't have a lot of money, but it never, ever felt like we didn't have enough food.  I am amazed now looking back at how my dad managed it, but he did.

After I got married, I never managed to keep on hand what we needed.  Part of that was the newlywed phase of "I don't really know what we are going to be eating every day" thing.  But after 15 year, I don't think you can claim newlywed anything.  So I, or rather we, decided that I needed to do a better job of buying a little extra (despite my cheapness, as mentioned in previous posts).  I began the simple task of buying one or two more of long term storage items than I need and one extra on perishables if it would last until it was used (I have had a bad habit of running out of creamer 2 days before grocery day).  Little by little I began to get a better stock of items.

I began to see why my dad did this.  Just in case finally made sense.  Just in case their is a flood and you can't get out (happens quite a lot around here).  Just in case the van breaks down and I can't run to town tomorrow.  Just in case money is a little short next week.  Just in case my husband looses his job.  Man, there are a lot of cases to be preparing for!

After a while, my pantry (such a blessing to have a 10x4 walk in pantry) was unmanageable.  I couldn't find anything.  Now, this is not do solely, or even largely, to my preparedness (or "prepping").  This was due to my lack of ability to organize, tidy or clean anything.  But, even at that, when my pantry was clean it still seemed over stuffed.  After all, not only does it house food, but the occasional tool and/or ammo related item does tend to find residence there. 

When a good friend announced that the retail store at which he works is going out of business and selling fixtures, our collective lightbulbs came on!  Metal shelving from a store would make a great way to add storage!  Brilliant!  Cheap, movable, cheap, sturdy, cheap, and did I mention cheap?

Well, as projects do around here, this one became not so much a weekend revamp as a month long (not so cheap) remodel.  I don't think I will record here all the details as to what all ended up happening and changing.

These before pictures actually look quite decent.  They are ones I took on the rare occasion that it was clean.  I actually took these long before I began prepping.  They don't look too overrun yet.

Notice the hideous shag orange and nasty colored carpet.  My one request in the ever evolving plan was that the nasty carpet disappear.  As you can see we had shelves down both walls, but they were narrow and spaced such that there was a lot of gap where I could have had more shelves with food rather than empty wall space. 

We left the wall on the right empty and placed double the number of (deeper) shelves along the wall on the left.  We then added shelves along the back wall.  In this picture you can see that we had run out of the size used on the back and still  need to add the extra.  Even with removing the shelving from one side, we were able to increase the storage quite a bit with the addition of wider, more closely mounted shelves.  The bottom shelves were spaced high enough to allow 5 gallon bucket storage for long term food storage.

The hideous carpet is gone, with plans for tile when the funds are available.  The empty wall now has a place to store the step stool, a hanging rack (out of view) for brooms and mops and room for the vacuum.  The far back corner will eventually have a custom built shelf for the ammo that is stacked there. 

We also greatly increased the light by adding a long florescent light instead of a small incandescent bulb.  The light had been on the same switch as the hallway light, which gets left on most of the day.  My husband put the light on its own switch and installed a motion detector switch that turns off after 5 minutes so the pantry light won't be left on unknown all day!

There is a lot of information out there on prepping, disaster preparedness, long term food storage.  I am sharing this as encouragement.  Whatever your "just in case" may be, there are easy ways to begin your prepping journey.  It doesn't have to consume your life.  It may take some adjustments, such as my added pantry shelving, but it doesn't have to look like the shows you see with rooms and rooms of stores.  Start where you are, make adjustments as you go.  Begin small and add as you can.  Determine your needs and what "cases" you are planning for and start.  It will get less scary and easier as you go!

 Please check out other great blogs at the Welcome Home Link-Up.