10 Reasons I Shouldn't Be Writing This

In the past few years I have really come to enjoy writing.  I've always found that putting words "on paper" (even virtually so to speak) comes easily to me.  I can ramble on endlessly in writing.  I don't claim to be good at it, just to enjoy the process.  I began blogging as an outlet for my writing.  I have lately become slightly obsessed with my blog, trying to make it more me and yet more interesting to a larger audience, should I some day have one.  Yet, I often find that the time I spend blogging detracts from other areas of my life.  So today I decided to write a Top Ten list (in no particular order) of reasons I should NOT be blogging right now.

1.    I have a sink (and counter) full of dirty dishes.
2.    I have math to do.  Well, I have math to grade.  My 10 year old will expect to know tomorrow how she did today. 
3.    I have lessons to plan.  As my son and I can't seem to keep track of silly items like his phonics book, so I need to find him some school work. 
4.    I have a LOT of laundry, clean, in my room that I need to handle.  Ugh.  Not more interesting than writing.
5.    I have a LOT of laundry, dirty, that needs washed and purged.  NOT more interesting than writing.
6.    I have a cute baby I could cuddle.  Of course I am watching him kick and play next to me, so it's not too bad.
7.    I have a really tired husband that needs to go to bed, but would rather stay up with me.
8.    I have a school room to reorganize.
9.    My living room looks like a laundry mat exploded in it.  Someone should really do something about that.
10.  My children are refusing to go to sleep and I shall have to deal with them.

I did manage to put off writing the list until school was done, dinner was over and kids were sent to bed.  Yay me!

What things do you find to get in the way of things you would rather not do, or even things you enjoy doing but get put off?

The Hard Times

Why?  How many times have we all asked "Why?"  Especially we ask why God allows certain painful or sad things.  I am no theologian.  I cannot pretend to use the bible to give good, solid answers.  I have, however, formulated an opinion on this matter. 

Have you ever watched people come together in a crisis?  My husband's family experienced this many years ago.  My husband's cousin was seriously injured in a parakiting accident.  He was lucky to survive.  It was a long, painful recovery, for the boy and his family.  What really sticks out about this is how all the area farmers, family friends, jumped in to help care for their farms sending equipment and men to handle all that needed done in the family's time of need.  This happens over and over in the farming community.  They draw together to help their own.

The same thing happens in churches.  Illness and loss brings people together to love on one another, often much more so than the joyful times.  People will bring so much food to a funeral dinner that the family doesn't have to cook for days.  In these moments, the grieving feel the arms of God when their friends, and sometimes just acquaintances, reach out to them.

God gave us families to love and accept us, to encourage and help us.  But in those really bad times, our family is in the grief with us, often unable to provide for our needs due to their own hurting.  This is why community is so important.  Sometimes community is your church.  Sometimes it is your neighbors. 

This brings me back to my theory. Remember I am not a theologian.  I cannot cite scripture to support this.  I don't know why God allows bad things, but I wonder if it is perhaps at least partly to allow us to come together and meet one another's needs.  And, maybe, just maybe, it is also to help us remember what is really important in life.

Sometimes the timing seems to compound the pain.  For example, my husband's dearly loved grandmother had a heart attack at my bridal shower and passed away one month before my wedding.  My husband had to deal with the loss of his grandmother on top of the stress of planning a wedding.  My mother-in-law had to with the sudden, unexpected loss of a very dear loved one while dealing with the emotions that go with the marrying off of her eldest son. 

These are the times I especially think that maybe God is helping us to see that certain things that can draw our focus so intently, though important and good, are so much less important than family and friends.  And perhaps that faith in God as our strength and provider is THE most important thing.

10 Thoughts on Marriage

I am no expert on marriage, after all I have only been married once.  (That's a joke, not intended to offend those of you on your second or third marriage.)  I am happily married and have been married for 15 years.  I have 6 children and they all know that I am totally in love with their father.  So though I am no expert, I have opinions and ideas that have worked well for me.  Here they are, my 10 Thoughts on Marriage.  

1.  With God all things are possible. (Matthew 19:26) No matter the state of your marriage, God can fix it.  He is the healer and restorer of broken hearts. 

2.  Without God, I'm not really sure how two sinful, selfish people ever expect to make it.  Maybe other people can figure out how to put aside their selfish nature and seek first the happiness of of another without the help God, but I'm just not sure how.  Before I knew God, my marriage was good.  But then, it was new.  We were happy enough the first 5 years, but looking back I can see the road we were heading down would never have worked. 

3.  Children are a blessing of a happy marriage, not a ticket to a happy marriage.  Having a baby will not fix a bad marriage, nor improve an already good marriage.  Children add stress as well as joy to a couple's lives.  The inability to have children adds even more stress to a marriage.  Your marriage needs to be strong and happy independent of children.

4.  Don't let the other adult living in your house be a stranger when the children move out.  Children will be a huge focus for about 20 years, then you have the next 20+ that you still have to be able to live with this other person.  There will be days, sometimes many back to back, where you must give more focus to the children than your spouse, but you must make time for your spouse.  My children love and are comforted by the fact that my husband and I adore each other.  It makes them feel secure.

5.  Your spouse should be your best friend.  See number four.  There may be times you need to talk to a woman (or man) about things your husband (or wife) doesn't understand, but your spouse should share the secrets of your heart.  He should be the one in whom you confide your fears and the one with whom you share your joys and successes as well as your heartbreaks and failures.

6.  Men and women are different.  Deal with it.  Try to appreciate it.

7.  Marriage isn't 50/50.  It is 100/100.  On the days that you can only give 20% your spouse has to give 80% so that on the days he can only give 20% you can give 80%.  If you are looking to get what you give in a marriage, you will always be disappointed. 

8.  It's a good thing your spouse isn't perfect or he(she) would never have chosen to marry you.  I'm thinking this shouldn't need any more explanation.  You know you.  If you are honest, I'm guessing you know what I mean.

9.  Forgiveness is essential.  Even when you don't want to.  Perhaps especially when you don't want to.  See number 1.

10.  Laugh.  Play, have fun.  This is probably the hardest for me.  Sometimes you have to let your husband chase you down with a garden hose.  Laughter helps with the joy.  It helps children feel happy and secure.  It is essential for a healthy heart.