A Simple Story

Once upon a time there was a little girl.  Her name was Sally.  Sally lived in a house with her mom, dad, 2 brothers, 6 cats and one rather large hippo.  They lived in a rather large house.

Sally loved to play tea party with her mom, play golf with her dad and play tag with her brothers.  She enjoyed playing dress-up with her cats on rainy afternoons (the cats, however, did not much enjoy this and would try, often unsuccessfully to hide under the couch or behind the dryer). 

But by far her favorite thing to do was play "ballerina:" with her hippo.  Her hippo was named Eustace Eugene Englebert.  You didn't expect an animal so large to have a small, common name like Fred did you?

Eustace Eugene Englebert was an expert ballerina.  He could Plié, Dégagé and Fondu like the most famous of all ballerinas. He was light on his huge, enormous feet and made all aspiring ballerinas jealous.  So of course Sally loved to dance with him.

Then, one bright, sunshiny Wednesday afternoon, Eustace Eugene Englebert fell down.  When Eustace Eugene Englebert fell, it was not a small bump like when you or I fall.  No, in fact, when Eustace Eugene Englebert fell, it shook the entire block.  People came outside to see if it was an earthquake.  Several people noticed poor Eustace Eugene Englebert lying on the ground near the apple tree.  Many neighbors came running over to see what had happened.   

Poor Eustace Eugene Englebert!  He couldn't get up.  All he could do was lie there in the grass and cry.

Sally ran to Eustace Eugene Englebert and begged him to try to get up.  He just stayed there, crying and covering his eyes with his enormous front feet.  Sally knew he was embarrassed with all the crowd gathered around.  She also knew that she couldn't help Eustace Eugene Englebert stand up alone.  

Oh, what to do?  The local veterinarian happened to live across the street.  Dr. Wolfe came over to make sure Eustace Eugene Englebert hadn't actually damaged any bones.  When he had pronounced Eustace Eugene Englebert to be in fine health, Sally knew she had to convince Eustace Eugene Englebert to stand up.  But how?  He was so embarrassed.  

Suddenly, an idea came to Sally.  She ran to her friend Joey, whose dad happened to be the school principal.  She whispered her idea to Joey.  He agreed and ran to his dad and whispered the idea to him.  After thinking for a few moments, Joey's dad, Mr. Board, smiled and agreed.  Mr. Board went to Miss Groove and chatted with her.  

Miss Groove was the school theatre and dance instructor.  She jumped up and down with giddiness over the idea.  She ran to the 5 little girls and 3 little boys that had been having a private lesson with her just moments before and discussed it with them.  

They all beamed and bounced and agreed that this was the best idea ever.  The group of kids ran to Sally and poor Eustace Eugene Englebert.  The children began to dance and twirl and spin in front of the poor hippo.  They practiced all their best moves.  Eustace Eugene Englebert stopped crying long enough to see what they were doing.  When the children saw that Eustace Eugene Englebert was watching, they stopped and began to plead with Sally, quite loudly to ensure that Eustace Eugene Englebert could hear every word, to let Eustace Eugene Englebert help them perform their spring recital in 9 days.  Sally, who of course had orchestrated the whole thing, pretended to be concerned that Eustace Eugene Englebert might not be able to dance, having fallen so recently.  The children pretended to be sad and begged further, knowing all the time that this was Sally's big plan.  

While Sally stood, her back to Eustace Eugene Englebert, slowly and sadly shaking her head to the children, Eustace Eugene Englebert slowly began to stand.  Sally pretended she could not hear him standing.  She said she was very sorry, but if Eustace Eugene Englebert was hurt too much to stand up, there was no way he could dance in a mere 9 days!

Sally, hearing much commotion from the neighbors, turned around to see her rather large hippo dancing behind her!  He did his finest moves, showing off each bend and stretch and twirl with great joy and pleasure.  The children laughed!  Miss Groove bounced up and down!  Mr. Board rubbed his hands together excitedly!  Yes!  This would be the best spring recital ever to take place at Sunnyside Elementary School!  

Sally stood back and smiled realizing that sometimes all it takes to help us get up when we fall down is the love and encouragement of our friends, family and neighbors. 

My God - Restorer of Hope

It's 11:30 on a Sunday night.  I have an early morning coming after a long weekend.  I have a lot to do.  Yet, here I sit.  Why?  Because God did something amazing for me this weekend and I need to share. 

God gave me renewed hope, brought some wonderful people into my life and spoke into the lives of many that I care about.  God is good.  And God is doing good things in the lives of His people. 

Our church had a guest speaker this weekend.  He was very good.  Not like the super best speaker ever, but very very good.  I think it is the fact that he wasn't the BEST but very good that actually helped God's light shine through.  See, I wasn't so much distracted by the man as we sometimes can be.  I was able to see God and hear a few things along the way.

God, through words spoken over many of the youth of our church, renewed my hope and vision for the children of our church.  They are not the future of the church, they are part of The Church today.  Hearing what God wanted to say to these amazing kids, young adults, in the presence of our body really softened my heart.

God softened my heart in a few other areas and helped me truly work down a path of forgiveness that I need to be walking down, perhaps more quickly than I have been. 

God brought a beautiful family whom I love and have prayed for during these last many months back home to visit our family.  I saw God working restoration in them and us.  I saw God blessing them and us.  That alone would have made my weekend, the visit of one family would have been enough.  But not for God.

God began, or perhaps continued, healing some hearts that have been agonizing.  He spoke life and love and hope into hearts that were broken.  I saw amazing personal heart change that showed on the faces of those I care about. 

God allowed me the opportunity to reach out to a church member and remind her of how adored she is.  He allowed me to speak a few kind words of truth to her heart to help calm a worried spirit.  God allowed her the opportunity to do something she loves, give.  God is restoring things there as well.

God helped the people of our church family throw a baby shower for a woman most of them had never met, just to show His love.  He got many people to work together to bless one small, young family with His heart for His people.  This alone knocked my socks off.

God brought another family that I love to the shower.  This was in itself a healing, restoring process.  For many.  God restored some things that were taken from this family, or so I think.  I suppose I could be mispeaking, but I do not think I am.

God allowed a friend flag me down in town and stop just to say hi, reminding me how precious one person and one family is in the Kingdom of God.  

God started another precious family on an amazing voyage of discovery, sending them to find what He is calling them to next.  He gave me peace to know that they are in His hands, a heart to love them and the knowledge that they are still part of our body, the Body of Christ.  I am excited to see where He calls them to next and hear what He has in store for them as they seek Him. 

And, though this is little, God gave me a small moment for intellectual exercise in His word, to think and ponder and wonder.  

God is good.  God is GOOD!!!

More Long Winded Ramblings of a Tired Mommy

     I have recently been pondering many difficult questions of life.  Yet, I wonder, as difficult as these are, how important are they?  How much of our life is spent in deep despair, consternation or just plain aggravation over things with no lasting eternal value. 
       As I contemplate that, I begin to go through the rather major events in my life right now.  A lot has changed.  A lot is changing.  A lot more will change when I least expect it.  This leaves me unsettled as I detest change.  I hate it.  I am sure most of us would say the same thing.  Change leaves us unsettled and uncertain.  Even good change brings with it a certain amount of sadness. 
     Over the last 4 years or so, I have endured more change than I thought was possible.  Some good, some incredibly painful and some down right angrifying.  (Like that, I couldn't think of a good word.)  And I know that above many people's problem with change, I have to add an additional problem that others may not.  I like to have control.
     I know, we all do, right?  Who doesn't want to choose what we watch on TV or eat for dinner?  Frankly, me.  I don't care about those things, but things that seem of vital importance to me, well, I want them done my way.  Not just done well, done well my way. 
     I am a perfectionist.  I demand perfection in myself and fail to achieve it every time.  I know perfect is impossible, but I never feel as though I've done it well enough.  I don't demand perfection of others, in fact I tend to give much grace, too much I've been told. 
     So, what is my point?  I warned you in the header, this is a blog of my ramblings, you might want to stop while you are still ahead.
     My point, as you ask, is I have recently been, well accused is a bit harsh.  Let's say that it has been said of me that I am a "controlling woman".  I hardly can say that without laughing! 
     Now you are confused.  I can see it in your eyes.  Ok, I can't really see your eyes, but I'm just guessing.  "How can a woman who admits she likes to be in control laugh at the thought of being a controlling woman?"
     Good question.  So I've been asking myself.  If I really think this assessment of me is wrong, yet I openly admit to anyone interested enough to listen or read my blog (so a whole like 8 people) that I like to be in control, how can I be upset by being labelled a "Controlling Woman"?


     Oh, wait, you are waiting for the answer?  Well, I'm not sure I have it entirely.  But I have spent the day pondering this very thing.  Because right now in my world, it really matters to me.  And it just might matter to others that matter to me.  (See, I started a sentence with But, Because and And.  Rule breaker!!!  Sorry, humor me, it's late.)

     Here's what I think.  I think we all want some control.  We all want things to go the right way.  Most of us think we know what that way is.  Some others of you are blessed with the gift of "it doesn't really matter".  Some of use are not.  So we make mountains of mole hills and control everything within our grasps.  Yet I have a huge respect for chain of command and line of authority.  I will complain, disagree and petition to be heard, but if the boss says "Do this" I do this.  And I attempt (though often fail) to do this, without complaint.
     So I guess I want to be heard.  And I want to know that my voice counts.  And I want to know that the authority to whom I am submitting shares my conviction in the area in which I have submitted. 
     So I want to be heard.  Do I insist on having it my way?  Honestly, no.  I like it my way.  But if the authority has heard me out and shares my heart, then I trust them and follow, knowing that it will work out in the end and this "issue" must be one of those of no eternal value type problems. 
     Which brings us to the present.  I have recently found myself in a leadership role within my church.  It is not a new role for me, it is one in which I have functioned in the past and managed with some degree of success.  In the interest of full disclosure, I was not asked to take this role, I chose to take it.  This does help make the point of my "Controlling woman"ness.  In the past when I have had this role, I have had a clear leader to whom I could turn that held the authority and I served under her (or him) with the authority bestowed upon me. Now I serve under a ruling board that I respect and admire.  But there is not mediator between us.  This makes me nervous.  I don't want that much authority.  See, I want to be heard, and I'm willing to step up and do a needed job.  I'm willing to manage people and events (just not laundry).  But I don't want to be the top authority reporting directly to the boss.  I want to be down one on the food chain.  This is an uncomfortable place. 
     I don't strive for "power".  I don't even really like it.  Not really.  I strive for quality.  I know I have some skills and gifts given to me by God for His purposes, I just don't want to be the big boss.  I want to be kind of in charge of some stuff, allowed the privilege to serve and listened to when my "expertise" is helpful. 
     Even in my home, I am not a controlling wife.  I manage (I chuckle as I type that) my home and make a huge portion of the daily running decisions, but I never, ever tell my husband what to do.  I make suggestions.  Sometimes forcefully.  But I never let his decision to do something different cause division.  I know that it isn't worth it.  I've seen what I'm like when I let our disagreements on something as silly as room color eat at me.  I'm not willing to go there in my marriage.  Usually.  I'm not perfect, but I see how not important most "arguements" are. 
     See, I haven't forgotten, though you probably have, where we started.  I have come full circle.  I think what the difference between being controlling and having a desire to be in control is all about the perspective.  I know, or try to, the things that are eternally important.  When I begin making mountains out of mole hills, I begin to slide toward that controlling personality.  When I get a grip and look at life in regards to the eternal value of the issue, I begin to slide back to the "I want input, but will follow the leader" side. 

     Now, if I could learn to control the environment directly around me (aka my home) as much as I would like to control the world, I'd be set.