Do Not Explore Under My Bed, and Other Loopholes

Did you know that you should tell your children "You may not explore under my bed," before the children come up with such an idea? How about, "Don't take all the wet wipes out of the package and lay them neatly on the dash of the truck to dry out and become napkins"? It amazes me all of the things I am expected to have told my children before they think to do it. The problem is that I am not as smart as my children. Clearly. I mean, I never even thought to take a brand new, purse pack of 15 wet wipes and carefully lay them out to dry so that we can have napkins. Of course, that may be because we have plenty of napkins and no wet wipes but ...

Then there are, of course, the loopholes. You say "Don't run in the church," only to find them skipping. You didn't say no skipping, Mom. Or "Don't call your sister a meanie head" only to hear them calling her a meanie butt. Children are born loophole seekers and negotiators. They make professional lawyers look like amateurs. If only we could find a way to harness that power for good and not evil!