What won't a Mommy do for her kids!

Actually, parents in general. We will do about anything to make our kids happy. I don't mean the kind of making our kids happy that means we forget about our rules, principles and priorities. But those moments when it is in our power to do some thing that brings joy our children, we will do it. Even if it adds stress, chaos and pushes our limits.

I love my children, but I am not an artist. Not at all. Normally daddy is left to decorate all the cakes. This year, however, birthdays have come and Mommy has had to make the cake. Well, they aren't great, but I have to say, I am pleased. First I managed a castle and a spider web. Today I made an Earth cake. Next up, a robot and a dog. Then, cakes will be done for the year!

I will add pics of the robot and dog when they are ready. Hopefully, they will look as good as the Earth!

Five Little Monkeys

God has blessed me with five amazing and adorable children. It is easy as a parent to get frustrated with our children and get focused on the negative. I want to take a moment and write the great and amazing things about my children.

My oldest boy, Zack, just turned 10. He is amazing. I know I keep using that word, but I just don't know a better one! He is Daddy's mini-me Zack is very bright and thinks non-stop. He is constantly planning and processing and trying to figure the neatest, coolest way to do something. He is a hard worker (when on a task he chooses!) and very thorough. He is a bit of a perfectionist. He marches to the beat of the drum in his head, and on the table, on the desk, on the computer, on his brother's head. His world if filled with sound and noise. He must be listening to or making sound and music at all times. He is already showing natural leadership tendencies. He will do great things for God!

Allison is 8 (and 1/2, don't forget). She is my mini-me. She thinks like I do, acts like I did. She is a constant reminder of my childhood. She is beautiful, sweet, and kind. She is compliant. She desires to please the adults in her world. She loves schoolwork and books. She is learning to sew and draw. She has a heart to serve. Despite her similarities to me, she is so much more than I ever dreamed I would be. God has a hold on her heart and fills her with his love. She will be a super mom and a great wife. She will start her married life in a place that took me years to find. She will be blessed by the Lord for her willingness to serve her family.

My Noah is almost 6! I always call him "my Noah". He is this great mixture of his parents. As much as his older brother is his dad's childhood carbon copy, Noah is his dad's adult carbon copy. He has his dad's "peculiarities". He is laid back and easy going, until he determines something is worth fighting for, then there is no moving him. He's compliant, until you hit his line in the sand. He knows right and wrong and is steadfast about it. He is fiercely devoted to protecting his younger sister. When Rachel is hurt or upset, Noah is there to help her and protect her. There is still something unique inside him that I haven't figured out yet, but I know God has a plan to use this boy for something amazing.

Rachel is recently 4. She is beautiful beyond belief, smart beyond all understanding. I knew my kids were all smart, (what parent doesn't, right) but Rachel has astounded my from the start. She has a deep beauty that shines through her eyes and a brain that excels her beauty. More importantly than either of those, however, she knows God in a way that astounds me daily, even hourly sometimes. She sees God in everything and talks of Him as she does her Daddy. She knows, somehow at this young age, that God is the best Daddy in the world. She loves and adores her earthly Daddy, but also really gets the love of her heavenly Daddy. I learn from her constantly. I can't even begin to guess what God is doing with her, but I know He is working out his plan even now.

Emily is my youngest at 2 and 1/2 going on 5. She is so young that it is hard to have a handle on her personality completely, but she definitely is her own person. She is very bright, repeats everything, and loves people. She is affectionate at her own desire, only gives hugs and kisses when she wants and cannot be coerced otherwise! She is independent and can do it herself. If the other kids can do it, so can she. She is thinker and a world watcher. You might think she's not really paying any attention, but don't bet on that! I am not sure where God is taking her, but I am sure she will be going for a great ride!

It sounds like I am trying to make my kids sound perfect. I know they aren't perfect. I spend way too much time dwelling on their weaknesses. I am learning, however, that strengths and weaknesses are two ends of the same line. That which is a weakness in our lives, is usually a strength in disguise. Our strengths can be our weaknesses. A strong willed child can be raised to be an independent adult who is a great leader. A tender hearted child can be easily manipulated by others. That which we view as strengths and that which we view as weaknesses are just unmanaged character traits. God gives us our character traits. It is our job as parents to raise our children so that their heart is willing to allow God to mold their character for His purposes!

Not Brain Surgery

One of my husband's favorite sayings is "It's not brain surgery". He uses this statement when it comes to all the fix-it jobs he does around the house. "Honey, do you know how to pull a pump out of a well?" "It's not brain surgery." And for the most part he's right. He can pretty well figure out how to fix or do anything. If he doesn't know how, he asks. When he doesn't know the best way to solve an electrical problem in our 100 year old house, he calls an electrician friend. When the car won't run, he calls a mechanic friend. He watches educational shows, surfs the internet in an attempt to gain more knowledge because "You never know when you will need to know how to ____________", fill in the blank.

Recently I found myself wondering why so many people seem completely lost as to how to raise children and I found myself thinking "It's not brain surgery". Now, before you get all angry with me, understand what I am saying, and what I am not. I am not saying good parenting is easy. I am not saying that it isn't a lot of hard work. I am not saying that it doesn't take effort and struggle and tears and prayer. I am just saying it isn't complicated. The basic principles are insanely simple. Truly.

If anyone has ever trained a pet, successfully that is, they can understand the basic premise of parenting. It is child training. The bible says "Train up a child in the way he should go", not hope up a child, not plead up a child but train up a child. We aren't in this to hope that everything turns out well without actually putting in the effort to train. We are here to teach them, train them, lead them, guide them.

I have known many people who were not highly educated, most without college degrees and some without even high school diplomas, who have trained their children well. This proves the point that it doesn't take a high level of education to train children. In fact, every parent trains their child. Unfortunately many do so these days without even know it. Let us look at a couple of scenarios.

Let's start with a dog. Your dog decides to get into your trash. You tell him "no". The dog is more interested in the goodies he smells so he returns to trash digging. You say to the dog "fine, you can get in the trash this time, but no more." Sounds kinda silly doesn't it.

Now let's view this in a child. Your child gets into the cookie jar. You say "no". Your child smells cookies and is undeterred. He returns to the cookie jar and gets into it again. You say "fine, you can have one now, but no more."

Is the dog likely to get into the trash again after being allowed to do so? Of course. He was just trained to ignore his master's "no". He will now be harder to break of the trash habit than if you had persisted with your "no".

What about the child? He also has been trained. He has been trained to ignore his parent's "no". He will get into the cookies again. And each time you tell him no, his unwillingness to obey will get stronger because he now knows, there is a time when your "no" means "okay". And it won't end with cookies.

I know there are days when child training is so hard and so frustrating that you want to quit. I have called a friend and said "I quit!" But I know, as does she, that we have to go headlong back into the battle. When my husband was having trouble getting water from our well, he was frustrated. He wanted to quit. He wanted to say "This is too hard, I don't know what to do next, so we are just going to live without water for the rest of our lives" but he knew that wasn't an option. He called more people, called professionals, talked to friends with experience. That is what we have to do as parents. We need friends with children to give us suggestions, to give us encouragement. We need professionals, teachers, pastors, people with adult children that turned out well. But we cannot just say, "this is too hard, I will let them do what they want!"

My husband and I get so frustrated when we go out in public and see they way children are being trained to behave. We see screaming fits in stores over toys. We hear children tell their parents "no" and not be made to obey. Understand this, if you cannot make a 3 year old obey you, you will have no chance, and no authority with that child when he is 16.

I receive compliments about my five children and their behavior so often that I find myself thinking "If they really think this is good behavior, what must they see normally". That isn't a statement to brag, in fact just the opposite. I will have days where my personal standards are way above that of my children's current behavior and I will hear someone say "Your children are so well behaved." Is that a statement that my expectations are too high, or the world's are too low? Perhaps a little of both.

I think sometimes strangers think I was just naturally blessed with five super well behaved children and therefore I don't know what it is like in the real world. Let me assure you if you don't know me, that is NOT the truth. My children are from a long, long, long line of strong willed people, on both sides. We have perfected stubborn and turned it into an art! We have daily spankings, etc. I once heard a lady at church voice surprise at my three year old receiving a spanking (at church no less). "I've never even seen her do anything to deserve a spanking". I explained that the reason you don't see my children deserve a spanking is because they receive them.

This isn't a "to spank or not to spank" debate. I frankly don't care how you choose to "discourage" bad behavior, but you must. We as parent's have to stop rewarding bad behavior. It encourages it! If you give a kid a cookie for getting into the cookies when you have said "no", you reward the bad behavior!

We train our children every day either by not following our words with actions or by following through with everything we say. We all "Train up a child" but is it in the "way he should go" or is it in the path of destruction?

Things I never thought I would say

When I became a parent, many things changed inside me that I never expected. I learned first hand about true, sacrificial love. I developed magnified vision enabling me to see microscopic germs on bathroom door knobs. I developed super hearing allowing me to tune out alarm clocks but awaken to they cry of children rooms away. And I lost the ability to connect logical thought to my words before they come out of my mouth.

For example? Well, the day I uttered the now much remembered phrase "You may not ride your sister!" I realized I had crossed some line, never to return.

Being parents of principle, my husband and I agreed our children would not be allowed to eat french fries until after eating their grease laden hamburgers or nuggets. With the advent of bagged apples at fast food places instead of french fries we found our selves saying "You may not eat your apples until you have eaten your cheeseburger!" What are we thinking?