Why? How many times have we all asked "Why?" Especially we ask why God allows certain painful or sad things. I am no theologian. I cannot pretend to use the bible to give good, solid answers. I have, however, formulated an opinion on this matter.
Have you ever watched people come together in a crisis? My husband's family experienced this many years ago. My husband's cousin was seriously injured in a parakiting accident. He was lucky to survive. It was a long, painful recovery, for the boy and his family. What really sticks out about this is how all the area farmers, family friends, jumped in to help care for their farms sending equipment and men to handle all that needed done in the family's time of need. This happens over and over in the farming community. They draw together to help their own.
The same thing happens in churches. Illness and loss brings people together to love on one another, often much more so than the joyful times. People will bring so much food to a funeral dinner that the family doesn't have to cook for days. In these moments, the grieving feel the arms of God when their friends, and sometimes just acquaintances, reach out to them.
God gave us families to love and accept us, to encourage and help us. But in those really bad times, our family is in the grief with us, often unable to provide for our needs due to their own hurting. This is why community is so important. Sometimes community is your church. Sometimes it is your neighbors.
This brings me back to my theory. Remember I am not a theologian. I cannot cite scripture to support this. I don't know why God allows bad things, but I wonder if it is perhaps at least partly to allow us to come together and meet one another's needs. And, maybe, just maybe, it is also to help us remember what is really important in life.
Sometimes the timing seems to compound the pain. For example, my husband's dearly loved grandmother had a heart attack at my bridal shower and passed away one month before my wedding. My husband had to deal with the loss of his grandmother on top of the stress of planning a wedding. My mother-in-law had to with the sudden, unexpected loss of a very dear loved one while dealing with the emotions that go with the marrying off of her eldest son.
These are the times I especially think that maybe God is helping us to see that certain things that can draw our focus so intently, though important and good, are so much less important than family and friends. And perhaps that faith in God as our strength and provider is THE most important thing.