Write On Wednesdays Exercise 23 - Write the words of Margaret Atwood at the top of your page "We are learning to make fire". Set your timer to 5 minutes. Write the first words that come into your head after the prompt. Stop when the buzzer rings.
The boys looked up. They couldn't believe what they had just heard. Did they really hear the words come out if the old man's mouth. Yes, he had said "We are learning to make fire." What did he mean? The boys were excited. They didn't know what to do, what was going to happen. They knew only that their mother was going to kill them and that the old man was promising them something exciting.
Looking around the dark cave, watching for any glimpse of their mother, the oldest boy repeated the man. "We are learning to make fire?"
"Oh, yes. It has been outlawed way too long. Few remember the way, not many know how it is done. I, I am one of the few. I am old. When I am gone, so too shall be the knowledge of man's fire."
"Mother says fire is a fairy tale. She says man has never used fire. She says it is dangerous." The younger brother responded to the old man. He was very nervous, and very excited.
"It was outlawed right before I was born. My father taught me, despite the law forbidding it. I have no sons. Now, I shall teach you."
Please visit WoW to read other great stories.
Please visit WoW to read other great stories.
I really like this! I could picture the awe and excitement in the boys faces. They knew 'their mother was going to kill them' but this is way too cool to pass up ;) Nice job!
ReplyDeleteOh yes, the thrill of something that's forbidden - irrisistable - great job!
ReplyDeleteThis is wonderful. I could feel the excitement and fear within the boys. "Their mother was going to kill them" is brillant and funny! Nice work!
ReplyDeleteLove it when old folks teach us outlawed stuff.
ReplyDeleteOh, this was an interesting take on fire - on fire being near extinction because it has been outlawed. Very interesting - I'd like to know more about a reality where fire has been outlawed and is passed on from old man to young boys in hidden caves!
ReplyDeleteI loved your take on the prompt. You masterfully wove an entire world with its backstory in just a fw paragraphs. And the text jumps elegantly back and forth between the facts --the boys are learning to make fire-- and the fiction they have been told (for instance, when the younger brother says "Mother says fire is a fairytale.").
ReplyDeleteI second Sif! You could easily turn this into an absolutely great story.
/ Rain
Very interesting piece! I also wrote on a similar theme, of the idea of fire being something not allowed. Love the line "Mother says fire is a fairytale.". You could make this a wonderful short story, I think! Thanks for sharing your writing with us!
ReplyDeleteLove it, children and fire - I think you have captured that forbidden excitement well.
ReplyDelete