Be Careful What You Wish For

A few months ago, I found myself overwhelmed and tired. Tired of having too much to do, tired of getting nowhere in all I needed to do, tired of being busy. I needed a break from my everyday life, but I couldn't really take a break. Five kids, homeschooling, babysitting, perpetually messy house, church commitments, hosting a bible study, pregnant, life was busy. Good busy. Full of the things I wanted to do kind of busy, but very busy.

What do I give up? There is really nothing I wanted to give up, but I couldn't figure out where to go. So my gracious and amazing God took matters into His own hands, as He is so capable of doing. He yanked me out of my busy life. Forced me to have some time to rest, sent me on a little vacation, made me realize what is truly important in life, what is good but removable from my life, and what needed to go. God is good, and patient, and kind.

Shortly after Christmas we began to have problems with our well. You can read full details in the entry below if you are so inclined. These issues have caused me to be displaced from my home to my in-laws for a good amount of time. My in-laws have all the luxuries: mostly regular heat in the house no hot spots/cold spots, jacuzzi tub, satellite, high speed internet, another adult to help cook, another adult to help clean, someone to go to the grocery store. It was a rough life. I enjoy my time there, but it is hard not being at home. Just as I was trying to work out a plan, a routine of sorts that would allow us to be up there some to do laundry/bathe and be here to clean, babysit and do school, my family was hit with a stomach virus.

My littlest got sick with this virus first. We stayed home from church. Then I got it. I canceled my babysitting kids. I spent an entire day asleep in bed or on the couch. I began recovering only to discover that my baby was puking again. Canceled babysitting for the rest of the week and returned to my in-laws.

Life began to return to normal, minus water for shower/laundry. Just as I thought we were all ready to resume life as planned, child number 2 comes down with the bug. Again I canceled some of my babysitting and church. Meanwhile my house kept getting worse and worse and I was only able to be home long enough to unload whatever was in my van and throw more stuff in my van. I began getting more and more frustrated.

Meanwhile, my brother-in-law graduated from Army Basic Training in Georgia. We took a road trip to Georgia with 5 kids and a grandpa for most of a week. We ate in restaurants, relaxed in a hotel room, and in general had nothing we had to do. We even got to see an old friend of my husband's from high school.

Oh, did I mention that my husband's grandfather died the day we were planning to leave for Georgia. That was a whole other layer of complication as we tried to figure out details for the funereal and for going to Georgia. We returned from Georgia to my in-laws house late Friday night, spent Saturday unloading and doing laundry, managed to go to church on Sunday and finally the funereal on Monday.

We finally got home late Monday night to find that some dear friend(s) came and cleaned house for us! What a blessing! Now we are back from our trip, chilling at home, babysitting, finally made it to church.

Life is still crazy. I still have to go to my in-laws for a shower and laundry. But I've seen reality. Reality is that all that matters is my family, being together. Reality is that other people have problems. Reality is that I have too much stuff, most of which can go away and will never be missed. Reality is that most of what I do, while good and helpful, is not so important that God cannot accomplish it without me.

Now I am in the process of reprioritizing. I'm massively decluttering my house. I'm trying to rebuild routines that will help me organize. I am planning for the birth of our newest baby. I am going to try to let God do His job, and only do what He has asked me to do. I am sure I'll get over committed and overwhelmed again, and I am sure God will "gently" remind me of what's important. But for now, I am looking up and looking ahead, pleased with where I am in the midst of still have so little certainty with my water, having absolute certainty with my God.